Jobs with Pets or Food

Employment Opportunities

Pets or Food currently has the following positions available. Please email you resume with no attachments to hr@petsorfood.com if you are interested in applying.
Job Title: Cat Wrangler
Description: Manage, feed and maintain waste facilities for Pets or Food’s free range organic cat herds. The ideal candidate will be good with animals, but able to resist forming emotional bonds with any of the animals in their charge. High school education preferred, but not required. Applicants with a previous record of animal abuse will not be considered. This job is located in Gainesville Florida.
Please refer to Job ID# CWGF034

29 comments

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  1. Jeff

    I find it absolutely wonderful that there is a site where I can find delicious ready to eat seals. My timing in such a find is great as I am planning a special event soon and am looking forward to the raves and compliments from my special guests upon serving such a tender exotic meat.

    Your latest new customer and fan,
    Jeff

  2. spooner

    Man the Golden retrever is the best puppy meat i have ever eaten it is great as tartar yumm

  3. Doc

    Sidney you rock, if you need a writer for anything I do some freelance writing and you seem to have a real good thing going here

  4. MeatEater

    I have tried Feral cat before. We have several where we live. With the cost of beef skyrocketing it’s a good alternative. I find it is less stringy when slow cooked in a red wine in a crock pot. I do have a question for Sydney. Can you give me any dood recipes for chihuahua? My neighbors dog keeps coming in my yard. He looks young so I would assume tender. Please let me know.

  5. Hannibal

    have you tried fired tiger cub yet? we had it the other week anlong with battered dolphin, man that was some good shit!

    are you going to bring out a elephant menu? coz i’ll be happy to provide the required ingredience to make this magic bananza.

    your scincerly
    Hannibal of Carthage

  6. Hate to Waste

    I’ve got a new litter of 7 English bulldogs, well actually only 6 are outside of my fridge right now. Unfortunately, we lost one when the vet botched the c section and cut a bit too deep when reopening the womb. (The mom “Sunshine” had some scarring from the last 4 1/2 litters which gave him the trouble. You know how delicate the breed is from all the lucrative breeding) Any who, luckily he didn’t see my husband swipe the biohazard bag as we left the operating room. And now we have a delicious after whoopee snack for our wedding anniversary this november. Thanks to Pets or Food that Biohazard bag is full of sweet and sour marinade just like your recipe called for. Thanks again Pets or Food!

  7. Why should it be fake?

    Why does it have to be fake? Here in Australia we eat BOTH of the animals on the national emblem, the kangaroo and the emu! you can’t eat koala because of the poisons from the eucalyptus they eat all day… its a shame really.

    would be good if i could order these animals, they would all taste good!

    unfortunately the big giveaway about this being fake is the Bald Eagle… obviously the endangered or protected american emblem would not be available for eating… a shame also! 😀

  8. You is crazy

    This is wrong, and crazy, and i hope eachof you rot in the deepest pit of hell while each of these animals gnaw at your remains.

  9. DALLAS,TX..DON

    BABY GOLDEN RETREIVER?! FIRED TIGER CUB?!? BABY SEALS?!?! WTF IS THIS SHIT?!?! I UNDERSTAND DESPERATE TIMES CALLS FOR DESPERATE MEASURES, BUT SHIT MAN, SEARIOUSLY PEOPLE BUY THIS SHIT?!?!

    I HAVE KILLED MY OWN DUCK AT 11, COOKED IT AND ATE IT WITH MY DAD, BUT NEVER A DOG DUDE, UNLESS I WAS LITTERALLY DYING OF STARVATION.

    WOW PEOPLE AMAZE ME EVERYDAY, AND IM 21

  10. Dallas, TX...Debi

    AS A HUNTER AND AN OUTDOOR ENTHUSIEST, I BELIEVE IN HUNTING FOR FOOD WHERE IT IS FAIR AND THE TARGET HAS A CHANCE TO AVOID IT.
    I DO LOVE ANIMALS. BUT GROUNDHOG? GIVE ME A BREAK! THEY ARE SCAVENGERS!

    I DO NOT THINK WHAT YOU ARE DOING HERE IS ETHICAL OR HUMANE AND IT MAKES ME SICK TO THINK YOU CAN DO THIS SORT OF THING.
    I AM SEEKING OUT THE LEGALITIES OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING, STARTING WITH THE TEXAS STATE ATTORNEY GENERAL’S OFFICE. AT THE VERY LEAST, SAY HELLO TO PETA!

  11. Christy

    I live in Gainesville. No way this would fly under the radar in a town that has one of the most significant animal rights/vegetarian populations in North Florida.

  12. Emil

    You Guys! this is a parody…a hoax…100,999.00 for seal meat?

    IT IS A JOKE…I am an animal lover, animal owner, and I can see this is a joke!

    The moral is…don’t take life so seriously! You have to see the joke!

  13. Matt

    HAHAHAHA I can’t believe some people think this site is real! Some of the things it lists are illegal to even posess even live! Hilarious I gonna buy a t-shirt just because ots funny.

  14. Mines a dodo

    PetsorFood do you do a special on American citizens? I mean they must be useful for something.

  15. marc

    the live komodo dragon delivered yesterday went on the rampage and ate my wife and kids….its in the pot now so just wondered is it 20mins per pound or what?

  16. happy internetter

    Do you imagine the day that the obvious lack of IQ of many could be linked to a terminal disease vector as I do? Isn’t university life wonderful.

  17. reptile lover

    hmmm, my reptile collection was getting to big, had to do some thinning…mmmmm maked a great thanksgiving meal. thanks for the great recepies.

  18. Tyler Samson

    You idiots, this isn’t a joke. I got 3 American Bald Eagles today. This is completely legal and I can’t wait to try these babies out on the grill!

  19. Petsrfood is wrong

    THIS IS SOOOOO WRONG PEOPLE I MEAN HELLOOOOOO Y WOULD ANYBODY SELL SEAL AND BALD EAGLE ITS JUST WRONG. aLSO THIS SITE IS USED IN A LIST OF BOGUS SITES IN A SCHOOL BOOK THIS CANT BE REAL WHO EVER SAT AT A COMPUTER AND MADE THIS UP IS JUST STUPID A OBVIOUSLY HAD NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH THEIR TIME !

  20. Jimbobby

    nom nom nom is it cats tiem yets?

  21. Meg

    wow. thanks Lil L., bridie and Ally
    the hamster marmalade and toast combo is spiffing.
    i used cat meat instead tho.. tasty!!
    going to order some dolphin steaks and tiger cub for my tea, i cant wait. apparently they are fantastic drizzled in chocolate. (dark choc btw)
    hope you guys enjoy your endangered animals..
    loooove xx

  22. TJ Mitchell

    I tried the doberman recently. Delicius, full of flavor, so good….

  23. John Q Adams

    The parakeet is delicious!!!!!!! the snake was a little tough though.

  24. Susie

    I can accept people eating livestock. However, I will NEVER understand eating pets. Anyone who eats cats and dogs should move to China or some other country that finds this acceptable behavior. That way all of you pet eaters can live together far away from me and my pets. Unless the other pet eaters start to see you as a tasty treat, then you’re in trouble! Maybe then I can work as the wrangler who takes care of you….don’t worry I won’t get emotionally attached.

  25. Kathy

    This is sick…..

  26. Some1 who hates petsorfood

    Duh, it’s a joke, Emil, and a sick one a that. This is obviously a site made up by some idiot who sits in front of the computer all day and who has overdeveloped thumbs from video games. And hello!? Peta? I’d love them to see what happening here. I know it’s a rather feeble attempt at a joke, but come on. Find something else to do with your time, and get a life.

  27. bob

    Mensa? Surely you jest. The fine line between insanity and intelligence was apparently crossed.

  28. MacRoni

    Rack of pit-bull should be on everyone’s menu. Eat slowly, it has a bite to it.

  29. matt

    Greatest website ever!!! Cant wait to make chihuahua all meat chilli

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